Well, I’ll be damned. Nostalgia wins. Nostalgia always wins. I missed She’s my rushmore, so here we are… again. Welcome back. Or welcome if you’re new. I missed the comfort I felt writing the weird essay-ish type stuff over there, my what-ifs and things I don’t remember and about death and parties and always hearing the question “hey, are you ok?” when I think about rushmore. It’s all an irrational feeling but I can’t help myself, so here we are in 2023 and the foolishness continues.
It’s been quiet. Holidays are over and January is over and I realized I haven’t done anything to progress my life. The beginning of the year, aka the entire month of January, has a curious vibe. Christmas trees remain in the living room (serious question: do you continue to turn the lights on or just leave them off and enjoy the lingering Christmas scent?) and it feels like a good time to make a little life progress because everyone seems to find this newfound energy this time of year. But honestly, it’s been a blah kind of month and I think I’m still recovering from December.
I wrote an essay last month, but it’s still in my drafts. It’s entitled “not to be a grinch, but…” As you can gather, it’s pretty cynical. Too cynical, I decided, and my cynicism was not going to prevail this time. But I even created a Christmas playlist to share and make up for the cynicism. Here’s the playlist anyway, for next year.
This cynical essay wasn’t intended to be written. I didn’t sit down and want grinch vibes to pour out. They just did. It just happened. I started writing and, for some unknown reason, grinching out and grumbling about the holidays was just there, fore-fronted in my thoughts. It went something like this:
“Another year almost over. Maybe my head isn’t screwed on just right or my shoes are too tight, but this time of year tends to make me snarl with a sneer. Winter is the time of year for serenity, but it’s also the time of year for the big holiday. Like, the BIG big one. The one where people spend generous amounts on gifts and food and decorations and everything feels rushed trying to get it all accomplished and squared away by a deadline. Serenity becomes riddled with anxiety. There are crowds in every shop and all are there for the same reasons, rushing and grabbing their wants and needs before you beat them to it.
“Jovial music plays everywhere and television sets across the world stream the true voices of Christmas (Boris Karloff and Jean Shepherd and yay for this at least) and everyone is pushed into getting in the festive spirit and everything is bright and jolly and green and red and a spiritual movement of remembering what is of actual importance in life and wanting to better oneself, physically and mentally, becomes more prominent in daily thinking.
“And then a second BIG big holiday arrives and goals are created come the new year, using anticipation for motivation. Eat better. Read more. Less tv. But why do we wait? Why is the new year this magical date to start something new? It’s not logical, only hopeful. Just do it! Do it now! Start today! What’s stopping you?
“Not to be a grinch, but clearly I can’t help myself.”
Damn. I said my cynicism wasn’t going to prevail this time, but here we are. Here it is. And see? All pointless thoughts. It’s all noise! noise! noise! But it’s over now. Both BIG big holidays have passed by once again and the year is quiet at present. Most of the excitement from resolutions has dwindled and normalcy is making an appearance. If you made resolutions for the new year and have stuck with them, congratulations! That’s actually huge and I commend you! Stick with it! You got this!
February will be nice. Progress will be made.
Hope everyone had joyful holidays!
Thanks for reading She’s my rushmore ! It’s only occasionally pessimistic here, so subscribe for free to receive new optimistic (and only occasionally pessimistic) posts and support my work. Fight cynicism!
My wife, Jennifer, enjoys the Jennifer songs I like to find, so here’s another one: “Jennifer’s Jacket” - The Presidents of the United States of America.
Glad you're back and enjoyed your Christmas Grinching! It's a lot for a lot of people - expectations and such. On Christmas eve, Jim's knee was acting up (he has a rogue wire stuck in it that acts up when it's cold) and then our water heater broke (found out 5 days later it quit working cuz it was 38 years old) but we still hosted my whole family and by the 26th, I was ready to call it holiday quits haha. Great playlist too! My favorite christmas album is the John Waters Christmas Album, but now your list will be in my rotation.
I accept by rejecting it! LOL and NO LOL at the same time, because I am that philosopher with the hammer, that poet with a fragile existence in the tropical/volcanic wilderness ....
Spirit, its energy is everything, like the Bible that is linked to everything we know or not. Our future has been written by our past!
How about hitting it off hot and hard?
"Order, order in the kangaroo court! How do you plead, dear biatches in frozen heat? Guilty? Not guilty, We got hairy legs and everything! I knew you would say that! Guilty! No court is adjourned!!
I gave it all, maybe not the best performance, but at least I tried ....